Do You Know Lust?

"Rosa, you are old enough, you should get married," here mom goes again, she always tells me to get married, even if I still don't want to; I just had a vacation from my work to cleanse my mind, but I didn't think that my mom will nag at me of having a husband the moment we step inside our house. We arrived at our home from that vacation, but I still won't go back to work; my sister can still handle our company even f I'm gone anyway.

"Mom, I still have no intention of getting married; I don't even have a boyfriend," I said to my mom as I shrug and look at her with my smile.

"Rosa, when are you going to get married?" she asked with her wrinkled forehead as if my life depends on it. I still don't want to get married. It is tiring, and taking care of a child is exhausting; I already tried taking care of one, but it is my sister's child—a boy.

"I don't know," I said as I shrug in front of my mother with my wrinkled forehead and my smirk. I wouldn't say I like it when she talks about marriage and me having a child or her having a grandchild.

"When you are already menopause?" she asked, and she looks like she wants to laugh. She said made me sigh and made me frown; why does she keep on nagging me as if my sister's son is not her grandchild, we all know that they want a grandchild, but she already has it, just not from me. I think she didn't hear me saying I don't know to her when she asked when I'll get married.

"Mom," I called her, and thankfully she faced me; if not, I'll be freakin' pissed, "Mom, look, I know you want a grandchild, and you already have it, so which means I can get married when I want, or it is okay for me not to get married because you already have a grandchild, right?" I said to her with my wrinkled forehead, doing my best to let her understand that it is okay for me not to get married or not have a child because she already has what she wants—a grandchild.

"But you're already 29 years old," she said with her wrinkled forehead, and for some reason that I don't know, I got sad because of how she looked at my eyes when she said that I am already 29 years old and I should get married.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I should get a husband already," I said while sticking out my palm as if she will understand me when I do it. Still, some say that it works—the person you are explaining it to will understand you better if you show them your palm as you explain or let them understand something.

She didn't answer me, so I just walked to my room to get some sleep, but my mom talked again before I even reached my room.

"I'm old enough, I don't want you to be alone," she said, which made ms stop walking and made my tears want to fall from my eyes, but as usual, I stopped myself, or I guess my tears from showing up because I'll make me look weak and I hate that the most.

I turned around to face my mother again, but I was shocked because she is already an inch apart from me the moment I turned around.

"Mom," I said as I breathe heavily because of how shocked I was, and because of my pending heart, I almost shouted but thankfully, at that moment, I got control of my body or any part of me because I controlled myself. "Don't show up without giving a warning," I said as I hold my chest. "Why didn't you make a sound when you walked to here?" As I pointed to the floor where she is standing, I'm not rude; I am just like this when I get shocked, you know I shout or get mad or act rude even if I am not.

"I am old, and you need someone to take care of you," she said as she looks at me with her kind face and her smile, that made me think of what she just said; this conversation is breaking my heart into pieces—it makes me sad, but I can't just turn around and not listen to what she will say next.

"I have my sister," I said as I pointed somewhere in my back with my thumb and my smile, it is suggesting in a stating-it-way.

"Your sister has a family that she needs to take care of," my mom said, which is the reason I searched people on the folders in my mind to say something to her. I can't get married just because of my mom; I want to get married when it is right. I think it is still not the right time, and I should search for the right place to meet him and make our first meeting at the right time.

"Uhm...my best friend?" I suggested again, but this time in an asking way to make sure because my mom always has a reason.

"You know, Rosa, your best friend, will not be forever your friend," she said, which made me frown. What is she now talking about? My best friend will not be forever, my friend? Friendships last forever.

"Mom, friendships last forever," I said as I show her both of my palms and smiled, still with my wrinkled forehead. How can she say it possible? Friends can be friends forever. "Remember, you and you're friend are still friends until now."

"Yes, we are still friends, but do you think your friend will take care of you until you grow old?" she asked a rhetorical question, but I'll answer it anyway.

"Yes."

"Friends may last forever, but your friend will someday find her lifetime partner, she will have children, she has someone take care of," my mom said, which made me realize that I'll be a burden if I would let my best friend take care of me. "You should go on a blind date. I already arranged it; I know you are tired right now because we just came from our vacation, so you'll have a blind date tomorrow," she said, then she walked to her room.

What?

I will have a blind date at the age of 29?