Breanna sat in her car staring at her reflection in the vanity mirror on the back of her sun visor. She was nervous, anxious, and frightened. She could remember what it felt like to have Phillip’s arms around her, and when she closed her eyes, she could imagine it was Zachary. If he tried to touch her again tonight…there was no telling where it would lead her.

With a resilient sigh, she closed the visor and removed the key from the ignition. She had to get the night over with and see if she could put her past behind her. She needed to get Phillip out of town before he learned about Isaac, and she needed to make certain she could escape the dreams of her husband that haunted her every night.

Taking her purse with her, she climbed out of the car and locked it, then walked to the front entrance of the luxury hotel. She felt the anxieties mount again but was certain they would fade once she had some food in her stomach. She hadn’t had anything since Phillip left her that afternoon, though she was so nervous she knew she wouldn’t have been able to eat anyway. Now, she felt famished and needed to get something to drink.

Breanna walked up to the guest counter, recognizing the young woman behind it. She smiled when she approached, hoping the news that she was there to meet a man didn’t become public knowledge by morning.

“Hello Ellie,” she said, smiling to the dark-skinned woman behind the computers.

“Bree, what are you doing here?” Ellie asked, a friendly smile caressing her full lips.

“I’m here to meet a friend for supper. Can you tell me if he left a message for me?”

“Of course. What’s his name?”

“Kendall,” a voice said behind Breanna.

The girls turned and saw the handsome blonde step up to the counter. He smiled at both of them, then winked to Breanna.

“You look amazing,” he told her, glancing down her slender frame

Breanna smiled, her hand subconsciously running down the skirt of her new black dress she bought that afternoon. It wasn’t too short, though shorter than she normally wore, but her long legs were hidden beneath a pair of black tights. With her dark blue knee-length jacket, she appeared classy yet comfortable.

“Thank you,” she answered with a soft blush. “I wasn’t sure how to dress.”

“You’re perfect. I thought we could start with a drink in the bar. I arranged for a table and supper, but I didn’t think you’d be on time, so I set it for seven-thirty.”

“I am always punctual, but you wouldn’t know that since you were always late.”

“True, but I’m learning to become more dependable.”

The two women exchanged amused glances, then Breanna took the arm Phillip held out for her. They walked together to the bar, then over to a table, Phillip pointed to. They ordered two sodas, then sat back to relax.

“How was the rest of your day?” he asked once their drinks were delivered.

“It was fine. Just a little boring. The store isn’t very busy during the week, so there’s usually a lot of time on our hands.”

“You need to arrange events or special readings. Something to bring the masses in during the off days.”

“I’ve considered it, but the place wasn’t that big until recently. Once the remodeling is finished, I’ll consider doing more.”

“If you need any suggestions, I’m at your disposal.”

“Thank you,” she said with a soft blush. “I don’t know how much help you’ll be in Los Angeles, though.”

“I’ll arrange my schedule, so I can be here, any time you need me. You’ll always be family, you know, and we help our own. Besides, Vermont is a beautiful state, and Stowe is very quaint. Compared to where I live, it’s a virtual paradise. The only thing it’s missing is a beach.”

“We have beaches, just nothing like the Pacific Ocean. Most of our waters are state parks, but you can still swim and go boating.”

“Can you surf at these beaches?” he asked her with an amused grin.

“No, but I thought you weren’t very good at the sport? Zachary was always telling me how bad you were.”

“That was the past. I’ve been practicing, and I’ve become quite good at it. I actually enjoy spending time at the beach now, much more than before.”

“Before, you would only go to pick up girls,” Breanna chuckled.

“That part of my life is behind me. At least the girl every night part. I found an interest in volleyball and I’ve even started jogging. I was thinking about buying a house of my own, someplace closer to the ocean, so I can enjoy the sunshine.”

“You sound like your brother. It was always his dream to have a home close to the beach. He loved to layout during the warmer hours of the day.”

“I guess the desire was always in me, I just had to dig down deep enough to find it.”

Breanna took a sip of her drink, fighting the images of her husband from her mind. The more she was with Phillip, the more she thought about Zachary, and yet, the less she seemed to miss him.

“How are your parents?” she asked, at last, trying to distract her mind from the memories of her time with the man’s brother.

“They’re fine, I suppose. You know my mom. She’s always been about social events and she’s planning a huge Halloween masked ball. My dad is working on a project in Europe at the moment. He left shortly after the funeral and isn’t planning on being back until Halloween.”

“Sounds like things haven’t changed much.”

“Not really,” Phillip said, looking up when the waitress came in to tell him their table was ready. “I hope you still like Italian,” he told her, as they stood and took their drinks. Phillip took her hand in his, squeezing her fingers gently as they walked to the restaurant next door.

“I love Italian, but how did you…”

“I’ve always paid attention to you,” he said, interrupting her. “I know you never realized it, but I’ve watched everything you’ve done. I can even tell you when you’re not feeling well or hiding something. Like now. You have a secret you’re not telling me.”

“I…I don’t have secrets,” she told him, keeping her eyes diverted as they walked to their table.

“Yes, you do,” he chuckled, holding the chair out for her to sit down. “But I’m not pushing. I know you’ll tell me when the time is right. I’m just worried that you’ve found someone else, before giving me a chance.”

“I wasn’t aware you were in line for my attention.”

“I always have been,” he told her in a soft voice as he sat down across from her. “I know you were so hung up on dreams of fairytale endings you never realized how much…”

Phillip’s voice trailed off as he drew a deep breath. He reached for his glass and took a drink, then set it back on the table and looked into her eyes.

“You didn’t answer me,” he said in a soft voice. “Is there someone else?”

“I told you, I live with my dad.”

“But that’s not the answer I’m looking for. Is there someone special in your life? Someone, you share your bed with?”

“Yes,” she said, lowering her eyes as she considered her son’s occupancy in her bed the past few nights.

The look on his handsome face was haunting and she felt like biting her tongue. She wasn’t willing to tell him about Isaac, but somehow, she felt as if she was cheating. She was afraid she’d have a battle on her hands when it came to his parents wanting to see her son, and she didn’t want to lose him.

“Do you love him?” Phillip asked, his eyes diverting to the glass in front of him.

“Yes, very much,” she answered.

“Are you getting married?”

“What?” she asked, looking up into the blue eyes that seemed to drill into her soul.

“You’re in love. Does that mean you’re getting married?”

“No,” she chuckled, then turned to see a couple walk into the restaurant, a small white fluffy poodle in the woman’s purse. Then she got the idea that would save her from him asking any more questions.

“His name is Percy,” she told him with an amused grin. “He’s about eight months old with golden hair. He eats everything in sight, and he snores nearly as bad as my dad. I love him a lot, but he takes up half of my bed, and I’m always having to clean up his hair.”

Phillip frowned as he considered what she was saying, then a smile began to curl his lip.

“Are you talking about a dog?” he asked with an amused gleam in his eyes.

“He’s a Golden Retriever,” she answered with a wide grin. “We got him a couple of months ago.”

“You’re a wicked woman, Breanna Kendall,” he told her, watching the shocked look cross her face. “What is it?”

“It’s just…I’ve never used that name,” she answered, lowering her eyes from his again. “I guess it never occurred to me to go by anything other than Neuman.”

“You were legally married. You still wear your wedding ring. It may not have ended on the best note, but you were in love and it’s a name to be proud of. My dad has worked very hard to earn his reputation.”

“I know that, but I’ve never considered using the name before. I guess…I mean, after I left…I’ve just always been a Neuman.”

“Does the name bother you?”

“I’m not sure,” she told him honestly. “Your parents never approved of me or the fact that my parents were divorced. I was from the lower side of town and I didn’t come from money. It was Zachary who stood up for me. He was willing to turn his back on your parents for me when your dad insisted he get a prenuptial.”

“I’m not sure if it was really Dad’s idea, or Mom’s,” Phillip told her, then moved his arms aside and stopped speaking when their food was delivered.

“This looks wonderful,” Breanna told him as she looked at the lasagna, changing the subject from the depressing memories that began filtering through her mind.

“Italian for the lady,” he told her with a smile as the woman placed two new drinks on the table, then looked to his companion when Breanna gasped. “What’s wrong?”

“That’s what Zachary used to say,” she told him with wide eyes.

“I know. I’ve heard him say it. I’m sorry if it brings back memories you don’t want.”

“No…it’s just…you look so much like him…”

“We were twins, sweetheart. Remember?”

“I know. I have to keep reminding myself of that. It would be easier if you were the old Phillip I used to know, but you’ve changed. You’re more like…Zachary.”

“Bree,” he began when the woman walked away. “I’m…not my brother.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I’m trying to remember that, but it’s hard.”

Phillip looked at her with a steady expression. He wanted to say something, but the desire left his eyes as soon as she looked up. He smiled and reached across the small table, patting her hand gently.

“It’s alright,” he told her. “I guess we both miss him more than either of us want to admit.”

“Maybe it’s time to put the past behind us and move forward,” she told him, tears filling her eyes.

“You loved him, didn’t you?”

“Despite how it ended…I did love him. Very much. I still do. I just wish I could get him out of my mind.”

Breanna removed her hand from his and took the napkin off her lap. She dabbed at her eyes as the tears began to slip out of them, hoping nobody close enough to see them could tell she was crying. She was feeling the familiar sting of regret embrace her as she reached for her glass.

“Is that why you wear black? Because you’ve put yourself in the role of a widow?” Phillip asked, lifting his own glass to his lips.

“I’m not…I mean…I don’t know. I didn’t realize I was wearing black.”

“I’ve seen you every day this week, and every day you have a different outfit on, always black.”

“You’ve only seen me twice. Maybe it’s just a coincidence.”

“I’ve had meetings all week long, and I’ve passed by your store often. I’ve seen you sitting at the same table by the window, eating the same cinnamon roll and coffee. You’re a creature of habit, Bree. And tonight, you’re in black again. I suppose it’s not a bad thing, it’s just…you look better in bright colors.”

Breanna didn’t respond to his comment. In a way, it was flattering that he noticed so much about her, but in another, she felt like she was being stalked. It was nice to have him here, even if he did remind her of her late husband, but she knew she would be relieved when he left.

She wanted to get her life back in order, and she desperately needed to hold on to a sense of normality. It was the only thing she had in her life that she could count on.

Phillip’s arm was around her waist as he walked Breanna out to her car. The rest of their meal was spent in lighter conversation then it had begun. They spoke about California, his new career as a Corporate Raider, and how he was in town selling the products of two companies he’d just bought.

They discussed the bookstore and her plans for it, and how her father had made her his partner. They talked about old friends, Vermont, and even the weather. Anything, just so long as they could avoid the subject of Zachary. Neither of them was willing to embrace the emotional side of their loss.

Breanna took the keys from her purse and pressed the button, unlocking the doors and starting the engine. The weather had turned cold, but the forecast looked promising for Isaac’s party on Saturday.

“This is me,” she told him, stopping beside the driver’s side of the small maroon-colored Kia Sportage.

“Thank you for having supper with me,” Phillip told her, his hand on the handle of the car’s door. “I’ve enjoyed spending the evening with you.”

“It was better than I anticipated,” she smiled, then felt his arms wrap around her waist.

“It doesn’t have to end, Bree,” he whispered, his lips moving to hers for a brief kiss. “I don’t want to let you go. I’ve missed you more than you’ll ever know.”

“Phillip, we can’t…” she began, fighting the urge to let him continue.

“There’s so much I want to tell you,” he whispered, his mouth moving to her ear. “Let me burn the memories of your wedding night from your mind. I can prove to you how wonderful love can be.”

“I…I…can’t,” she told him again, her tone much weaker than she intended.

His embrace made her feel protected, his lips warm against her flesh as he traveled his kisses down her neck. She felt cherished, wanted, and it was a feeling she hadn’t had in a very long time.

Phillip’s hand moved around her as he pressed her into the side of her car. He cupped her firm breast in one large hand, then gently began to massage it. His thumb brushed across the hard peak of her nipple as it poked through the thin fabric of her clothing. The sensations were amazing and at last, Breanna no longer fought to distinguish the twins. Right now, she didn’t care who was holding her. She just didn’t want the feelings to stop.

“Come back inside with me,” he begged as his lips brushed against hers. “Give me the chance to show you how wonderful love can feel.”

“Zachary…please,” she whispered.

“Do you want me, Bree?” he asked in a soft whisper, then covered her mouth with the full pressure of his when she nodded.

His tongue caressed hers in an action that left her breathless. She could feel the warmth of his hand against her cool skin as he moved her clothes aside. She wanted this, she wanted him. She wanted to feel the tenderness of her husband’s love, to forget their first night together…

The thunder of realization clapped in her mind and she suddenly became aware of what was happening. She pushed Phillip away with a force she didn’t know she possessed, then looked up into his passion-filled eyes. He wasn’t Zachary. He was her brother-in-law, the same man she sometimes hated. She felt the chill of the night air against her flesh and gasped, struggling to right her clothing.

“I can’t do this,” she told him through soft pants for air. “I will never forget how horrible it was.”

“I’m sorry,” he told her in a husky voice. “I would never do anything to hurt you. You have to believe that.”

“I have to go,” she said, turning and struggling to open her car.

Phillip’s hand was on hers in an instant and she moaned as he pulled the door open. Just the touch of his hand made her want to change her mind, but she could still feel the pain of her husband’s touch.

“I’m sorry,” she told him again, then climbed into the car.

“I want to see you again, Bree. I can’t leave things between us like this.”

“I’ll never be able to forget what it was like,” she told him as tears began to fill her eyes. “I feel betrayed. I should have had the chance to scream at him, to tell him what a monster he was. As hard as I’ve tried, I can’t forget him, and I can’t stop loving him.”

“Bree, please, let me help you put the past behind us. I can offer you the love you need, and I promise, you will never feel that fear or pain again.”

“I can’t,” she said, repeating her sentiment again. “I have to go. Have a safe flight home, and please…don’t come back.”

Breanna pulled the door shut and put the car in reverse. She drove out of the parking lot as quickly as she could, her hand brushing the tears away as she hurried to her father’s house.

She knew the dreams she would embrace tonight would have nothing to do with her husband, or the sorrow of losing him, but rather those of saying goodbye to his brother.