Oh god, I’m screwed.

I can’t believe they just left! What about me?! I told my uncle I’ll be coming here for summer break! And what do they do? They sell the house and move to New York. At least they could’ve warned me earlier, so I wouldn’t fly all the way here!

Thank god for Lia. Had it not been for her, I would have to fly to New York and look for my uncle and cousin and I don’t have the money for that. What I have saved in my account is supposed to be used for my college tuition; I can’t just spend it carelessly on plane tickets because my family decided to run away. I know the situation is tough, but they could at least tell me! They were supposed to be there for me!

In moments like this, I wish I was like Lia. She’s so strong and confident. That's what I admire about her the most. Well apart from her authenticity. She’s so… genuine. She doesn’t take crap from anyone, always speaking her mind and facing people head on. She doesn’t care about people’s acceptance, unlike me.

I used to pretend to be someone I’m not, just to get people to like me. I wanted friends, I wanted to fit in, so I adjusted myself to fulfill people’s expectations. But after spending time with Lia, I realized how wrong that was, not to mention meaningless. The time I spent with her at the hospital after her accident really opened my eyes.

At first she was annoyed that I stayed with her, but after a while we started talking, mostly out of boredom, and somehow became friends. I almost laughed at the look of horror on her face when I offered to do her nails. She explained that she doesn’t really like all that girly stuff and that’s one of the reasons why she didn’t want to hang around with me and other girls. I knew there was something else that she wasn’t telling me, but I didn’t push. We weren’t that close yet.

I told her about basically everything about me. I felt – and I still do – that I could trust her. I talked to her about my insecurities, about why I acted the way I did at school, about the reason my family and I moved here and why I would probably have to move away again. Her acceptance was baffling, to say the least. Then she berated me for ‘being an idiot’. Her words, not mine.

That’s when I realized how amazing she is. She told me that I was stupid for trying to gain people’s favor by losing myself and being someone I’m not. It’s not worth it.

And I agree.

After Lia got discharged from the hospital, she came back to school, but only for a short while, since she had to go through physical therapy. But for me, it was the most enjoyable time I’ve had at school. I became ‘me’ again, changing my high heels, skirts and perfect make up for shorts, sneakers and bare face. I could literally sleep for almost two more hours everyday because I did not have to get ready as long as I used to. Lia actually praised me for that and I would never admit it out loud, but her words meant the world to me.

After Blake left for the summer with her dad, she kept taking me everywhere. I didn’t mind though, I loved spending time with her. We would go to the mall, her house, the river or the motorcycle club I brought her to after the accident.

That’s when my personal hell started.

Since I was with Lia most of the time we spent at the club, the club members treated me just like her. Well, almost. I think they realized I’m not as strong as Lia, so they were always gentler around me.

Especially Tank.

During the summer I grew to like him. A lot. When I first realized that, I literally freaked out, crying into my pillow from frustration and helplessness. Then I talked to Lia. After I cut off all contact with those fake friends from school, who left me as soon as I changed back to the old me, Lia was the only person I could talk to about that.

She called me stupid. Again.

I knew it was stupid to fall for a guy that much older than me. I mean, what could he possibly see in me apart from a chubby kid. But I couldn’t help it, he was so… caring, and kind, and affectionate with both Lia and me. And after being depraved of affection for so long, I got used to it pretty fast, and then eventually started craving it.

But I know it’s not meant to be, he was probably just being nice because I’m Lia’s friend. Yes, I can proudly say I’m her friend; we even have matching anklets to prove it. Blake got them for us as graduation gift.

“Dinner’s ready.” I hear Lia’s voice from the doorway, snapping me out of my thoughts. I’ve been staying at her house since we came here for summer. Since my uncle and cousin left, I didn't really have anywhere else to go.

“Coming.” I put my laptop away and get up from the couch, heading to the kitchen. I don’t really know how to cook, apart from a few things I was taught by my mom. But Lia said it’s not a problem, since she’s used to cooking every day anyway, mainly because she’s been living alone for a long time.

We eat in silence – Lia hates being disturbed when she eats and so do I – then I take care of the dishes, – that’s the least I can do – while Lia gets ready to leave to the clubhouse. I’m supposed to join her later, after I’m finished with my errands.

I arrive at the clubhouse about 4 hours later. I was honestly not going to come, but one call from Lia got me moving in sonic speed. She can be really persuasive when she wants to be.

“Hey beautiful. Whatcha doin’ here?” A young guy with the patch ‘Prospect’ slurs in my direction when I head towards the door. I don’t know him. Oh god, someone save me.

As if hearing my prayer, Lia comes outside and slaps the man on the back of the head. “Fuck off. She’s with me. – She sternly states, then turns to me – Come on, he won’t bother you again.” She smiles at me, leading me inside.

“Thank you.” I decide to express my gratitude. I forgot how dangerous it could be to show up here alone.

“Don’t mention it. Gotta protect my cute squirrel, right?” I scowl at the nickname. Lia’s been calling me a chipmunk at first because of the cheerful disposition I showed at school, but now she sticks to ‘squirrel’ or 'Goldie', saying I’m cute. What does me being ‘cute’ have to do anything with me being a ‘squirrel’ is a mystery to me. I’m only glad Lia doesn’t call me that in public. She claims it’s ‘for her use only’.

“Want a drink?” Lia asks as we near the bar. The place is packed, with a lot of bikers lounging at the bar or in the booths, and girls in skimpy clothes either strolling around the room or sitting with the guys. I wish I was brave enough to wear something like that, but with all the fat on my body I would probably look like a stuffed pig.

“Hey, Layla! Damn, you got even more beautiful since the last time I saw you!” Wolf appraises, checking me out with a predatory look. I’ve learned that he’s quite a player. He’s been flirting with me after being turned down by Lia, but I have no interest in him.

There’s someone else that caught my eye.

And he doesn’t look happy. Why is he angry? Does he not want me here?

“Hi, Wolf.” I shyly greet, suddenly feeling self-conscious. Before I can say anything else, Lia takes me to the booth with her.

The booth where Tank is sitting.

I’m so screwed.